THE KING OF DRUGS IS DEAD.
Janis Joplin: Smackhead junkie, also a pisshead, fuckin great! We love her. Jim Morrison the same, Hendrix fucking legendary. Illegal drugs, love him! Like how we love keith Richards, bob Marley, john lennon, mama cass, amy winehouse you wouldn’t find them taking legal drugs, then you got Elvis! Prescription junkie! A mockery of all things drugs taken for pleasure.
I think the real reason why prescribed drugs is dissed though is about the selfishness of prescribed drugs. C’mon!..... if you’re in a room with someone taking prescribed drugs theyre not gonna share any are they? Its tailored just for them. While illegal drugs are for everyone!
DID YOU VOTE?
Jacqui Smith accused of theft in local supermarket!
“I could see from the moment she walked in that she was a thief. …identifying thieves by their body language is one of the first things we learn at security guard college and she had all the signs. …I see crack whores masquerading as posh women all the time so I kept my eye on her, unfortunately I lost her in the frozen foods section so as soon as I saw her again I demanded that she empty out her pockets and her bag. I didn’t find anything this time she must have stashed it in the cake section, but its just a matter of time till she gets caught”.
When asked how he knew it was her he explained that the name the lady gave him was Jacqui Smith.
The rastas in the seventies used to call it ‘Poly tricks’ many tricks, as in prostitutes jobs. But in this case they're the pimps and we’re the Whores.
But going back to the seventies again, the rastas used to call the Politicians and anyone else who were lording it up over the poor humble workers as ‘Babylon’ and the political system and the enforcers of it was known as Babylon system. Vampires, bloodsuckers, leeches and parasites which is exactly what I saw when I saw Jacqui Smith the Home Secretary walking in Peckham, London. I don’t know if any of you know Peckham, its next to Brixton, and compared to Brixton it’s a little bit rougher, but it didn’t deserve to have Jacqui Smith walking around in a bulletproof vest accompanied by 12 armed policemen especially as the next week she was in parliament grinning at that conservative arsehole …William fucking Vague Hague, anyway she said to him that she will never take advice from anyone who’d ever wear a baseball cap! Imagine that, not respecting someones opinion because of their head wear, especially when half of Peckham wears baseball caps. And the biggest politician of the day Barack Obama has worn one all his life!
Aah Jacqui, look at that. You're a bit posh innit? You must be from somewhere quite nice, I have no idea how you ended up in Peckham though…
Lets see what you been responsible for so far while you been in power you old crook you!
- Hold terrorist suspects for 42 days without charges.
- I.D cards
- Bullied Professor David Nutt into apologising for his (true) comment that more people died from falling off horses than from taking ecstacy pills. After he concluded (for the government) that it be downgraded from class A to B.
- Reversed the governments decision that had downgraded cannabis to a class C drug returning back to the higher penalization status of Class B, with the law taking effect on 26th Jan 2009.
ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION ON MAYOR?
20 april 2009 Anti Racism conference becomes latest victim of racists!
Once again the expected has happened. …as expected. …again.
The U.N's anti Racism conference is being held in Switzerland because it is one of the few countries in the world that is Neutral. ..Or at least tolerant. ..or at least secure enough that the police can stop the people from killing the leaders. So even the Insane leaders can attend. (click here for Story) And incidentally they’ve got some of the best weed in the world as well. Weed fed by glacial streams and unpolluted mountain air. With relaxed drug laws and a trade in weed so big that they're an export nation. Eh hem! (click here for Story)Now if you had asked me 20 years ago which countries would not be attending a United Nations conference on Racism in 2009? I would have made a very accurate prediction. Am I a Prophet? A Seer? A political expert?
Australia.Canada. Germany. Israel. Italy. Netherlands. New Zealand. Poland. USA. are not attending.
Britain is attending, but not at a ministerial level, and France also has reservations, Both threatening to walk out if anyone gets Racist!
The Chinese top guy is there, Didn’t any of them want to talk to him about the Tibetans? Or talk to the Indians about their Caste system, …or to the Sudanese about the genocides in Darfur?
Now I want a collective name for those countries that didn’t turn up, I cant just keep on calling them those racist white countries can I? that's racist innit! They must have something else in common? (Other than the fact that they produce and consume a lot of weed)
I think they haven't gone to the conference because they don’t trust the Swiss. After all it is one big fucking bank! it made loads of money from the Nazis stolen gold and art! And ripped off billions from all those countries to build the Hadron Collider black hole money eater! (click here for Story)that's probably why the Swiss leader Merz wants to meet Irans Ahamadinejad, probably wants some money out of him before they close that tax haven down.
BEER UNDER THREAT! 17 april 2009
DON’T SELL POLITICIANS ALCOHOL UNTIL THEY PUT BEER DOWN TO A POUND A PINT! Calling all Bars, Pubs, Wine Bars, Restaurants and Offies! Stop selling those wankers booze! ...until they put Beer down to at least a pound a pint. They are so taking the piss!
A Politician earns at least a 100k a year, free cars, free housing, and a free second house which they get to keep! So of course they can afford to buy a pint of beer for £3.50 a pint. They can afford a fiver a pint cant they? Their excuse is that the average wage is 30,000 a year so everyone can afford it. …but then you got ‘their’ average and ‘my’ average. Their average includes people like millionaires and billionaires and other rich people mixing their incomes with the poor. But those rich people are unusual in my area, they don’t usually mix with poor people, and they never buy us drinks! SoI’d say the average wage around my area is about 12.5-15k a year.
I'm talking about the UK Budget, its that time again. The time of year when the government screws everyone else. THEY ACT LIKE IT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! That it is necessary, in fact vital to the economy! Lets see what new tax they're going to add or even introduce. They reckon that they might have a nice surprise for beer drinkers. Meaning; THAT THEY MIGHT NOT PUT IT UP AS HIGH AS WAS EXPECTED! Why are they playing games with us? If they're going to put it up or down why don’t they just say they're going to put it up or down instead of hinting at it like some kind of coy damsel when we all know they're price gouging whores..
Kids disrespect President Daddy! 14 April 2009
The Obamas have got a dog named Bo, ...sounds like the kids named the dog after their dad, well his initials anyway. If my kids did that! I’d beat them. Anyway! Within hours of the Obamas getting a Portuguese water dog, it turns out that it’s the most popular dog in New Jersey and they may have to open Puppy farms! (click here for Story)
...After officially welcoming the dog with a traditional Hawaiian dance and a garland of flowers. Barack sat in the Oval office, dog on his lap. “We’re gonna make this goddamn fine country the biggest exporter of Portuguese water dogs in the world!” He laughed maniacally while stroking the dogs head with his one white gloved hand. “Then we’ll take over the world Mini Me!” He was heard to whisper into the dogs ear. “...That’ll make the kids respect me”
Thousands of Dolphins block Pirates in Horn of Africa. april 14 2009
Maybe some dolphins don’t like Somalians! Maybe some dolphins are racist.
(click here for Story)Cos why would they protect the Chinese from the Somalians? Why now after thousands of years of piracy? I for one think that these dolphins are going too far now! When the Chinese and the rest of the world were out there factory fishing the waters around the horn of Africa taking all the fish that the dolphins used to eat, ...and the livelihoods of Somalian fishermen! (click here for Story)Where were the dolphins then?
…that’s it! The Dolphins are’nt being racist! They just hate fishermen! And the Pirates are obviously ex fishermen… wonder who took the photos of the Cargo ship from the pirates side though? especially as the report says its a radio transmission.
10 apr 2009 Further proof (as if we needed it) that Britney really is Shitney!
In Vancouver Canada. Britney Spears, known to music lovers everywhere as Shitney stopped her Gig for 30 minutes, complaining that she could smell marijuana smoke.
Who does she think she is Nina Simone! ...At least Nina had the excuse that she was looking after her voice!
Apparently Shitney, doing the comeback thing (again) is trying to live straight and clean after lots of short spells in Rehab. (click here for Story) After she finished the show she told the crowd. “Don’t smoke weed!”
If she had any sense she should have taken advantage of it, ...so next time they ask her to take a drug test, instead of (shaving off all her hair) she'd be able to say any trace of drugs in the follicles are from passive smoking at the gigs. (Hey Britney! you can still say it!)
Doesn’t she know the unofficial rule concerning drugs and music? That if you disagree with musicians taking drugs, you should go home and burn all your records because you can be guaranteed that at least half the musicians on it were as high as Satellites. And if you got any drug free records, burn them as well cos they dont rock.
7 april 2009. ON TRACK TO IRAQ
Good move Mr Prez, you made it to Iraq! ...Surprise visit my arse! But no probs’ it’s the only way he could have done it. Love his analogy that Policy is not a speedboat that you can quickly change direction in, but that it’s more of an ‘oil tanker’ that needs to travel for miles before it can change direction. ...Gives him time.
It would be great if he could bring peace to the middle east. I do wonder though... would it mean that we'd get more Hashish? would the price of hash go down? these are the questions that we want answers for Mr Obama! we demand to know! Things need to be made more transparent, we need to re-establish trade between our peoples. Ganja fi bun!
7 april 2009. Barack Obama on the Midnight Express.
Around the time that the Film ‘Midnight Express’ came out in 1978, Barack would have been 16-17 and been enjoying the first few giggly years of pot smoking and would have been totally freaked out by that film. Where it happened and everything about it would have been scored on his memory. The names Ankara, Istanbul,Turkey. It was like Hell for a dope smoker. If he’s anything like me, I bet he would have had to compose himself before he got off that plane in Ankara. I saw when he was walking into the airport. He looked a bit shaky to me. I could see the look in his eyes. It was saying; ‘Midnight express midnight express! keep calm keep calm!’ I’m telling you! I can see the dope smoker in him, the rationality, the calmness, the Ganja sense of humour, its all there. Even the paranoia, I’m telling you man! If he’s anything like me… well…in his case he has got something to be paranoid about! (.............I think I have as well but I don’t know what it is)
Have to say though, I haven’t seen much of Michelle this time, not that I’m really missing her… C’mon! did you see what she was wearing in Prague? A big Bow on her chest! bigger than the one on Aretha Franklins inauguratiopn hat! It reminded me of a product I saw on the TV show American Inventor that was just a huge bow worn as a bra, that when you pulled the ends the womans breasts fell out and it sang happy birthday! …I’ve seen racks of lamb dressed better than her! She was dressed like a 6 year old! This is the 2nd worst thing I’ve seen her wear, the first being that dress she wore when her husband won the election in November 2008, the one with the red splashes on the front that made her look as if she had just been shot.
I’m being cruel, Sorry about talking about Michelle Obama like that, if I was her I’d head up to those natural Spas in the mountains. Pools fed by warm volcanic springs where freshwater cleaner fish unique to that area gently nip off all your scabs and exzema, and the hard skin on the back of your heels. Surrounded by mountains seeping natural gas that you can set light to!
But while she was dossing about in some Spa or another, her hubby Barack was talking to a load of students and answering a load of questions this morning, (warming up for Iran) and as he said; One of the differences between the US and Europe is that Europe holds Grudges for as long as the modern state of America has existed!
And therein lies the problem for Turkey. …Even though the Armenian massacre, war, or whatever it was, was nearly a 100 years ago, in the first world war, the other Europeans haven’t forgotten it, and as for forgiving! They would rather forgive the Germans for their aggressions in WW1 and WW2 than forgive the Turks, in fact one of the most vocal opponents is Germany itself!
Globalization starts now! (...apparently) … Now when are they going to close down the stock markets?April 3rd 2009.
Well that’s what Gordon Brown said! then Obama, then the other 18 leaders..
There was a lot less protesters as well! I think they got scared off, after all did you see the pigs yesterday? Coarsing them up, penning them in. All roads leading to the Royal Bank of Scotland! (deliberate?) A hippy friend told me that they were trying to set light to the blinds and the furniture in there but everything was inflammable. Very clever on the part of the pigs. There was a little bit of half hearted rioting which everyone expected, because by now it is traditional, even the protesters got involved! But did they really expect the police to treat them different than they did? Say if the hardcore protesters actually broke through the cordons and got to the politicians? (If they avoided the sharpshooters that is!) Say if they’d assaulted the Russian leader! And then you got the Chinese leader! Fuck with him, you fuck with China! Then you got Obama!
I know hippies might have a reason to hate Barack Obama, after all he represents the opposite views to them, he wants Globalization, they want Localization. They want Protectionism, he doesn't. And while I love Hippies, I realised a long time ago, that their interests were different to mine, my interests have always encompassed the developing nations, but theirs haven’t, for example: I’ve got no problem with Trade and merchants. If we have an excess of strawberries in April, then we should export them to Australia so they can get some there as theirs is out of season, and vice versa, geddit? World trade. like with Weed.
20 nations, 20 leaders in 1 place, I know what they were doing there. They wanted to meet the Superstar, the ‘One’ the golden child Barack Obama. He’s like Muhammad Ali! Every country he goes to he makes a ‘Henry Cooper’… like how Ali immortalised every person he fought and met, it’s the same with Obama.
TAX HAVENS ARE CROOKED.
So they decided that tax havens were crooked. You mean to say it took a black man to tell them that? Of course it did, the black man don’t have anything to lose innit? Those other leaders are probably right now on the blower to their accountants telling them to shift the money out of Switzerland, Monaco, Cayman islands, Isle of Man, Jersey etc.
AND SO ARE THE STOCK MARKETS
But the real CROOK is the STOCK MARKET itself. And all those crooked stockbrokers playing about with peoples money like as if its their own! Its as disgusting as the fucking Concorde was. You know, tax payers paid for it. But the only people who flew on it was the rich, producing noise and fumes that rained down on the poor it flew over. Fucking Concorde, fucking stock market. Fucking Fat thieving bastards. There must be a way to mechanize it, computerize it or something, make it relate to whats happening instead of 'Speculation', or as we call it on the street, Guesswork.
AND THE OLD WORLD ORDER
People don’t like to hear talk of a New World Order, they like the Old World Order, even though it was responsible for two World Wars, continuing global wars and serious world poverty. but its not even about the New World Order, what I think they really hate is ‘Change’. (Hatred of change being one of the by products of comfort) But if you're poor or under represented or weak, then you want change! You’d be mad if you didn't, as mad as you’d be wanting change if you were comfortable! But the world is always changing my bredrins and sistrins! No more jobs for life. Multi skilled business a gwaan, like inna China, y’know? In the last 25 years they’ve brought 400 million people out of poverty. The way I see it, if the choice is between having sweat shops in Africa and Starvation, I’ll go for the sweat shops every time! Starvation isn't a choice, and life is all for those people, it is their everything, and the opinions of hippies make no difference. …You see! These fuckers give hippies a bad name, Fucking Corporate Hippies.
And Michelle Obamas Dress sense. Where is it?
Every time I look at her I think. ‘That bird needs some help with her wardrobe’. I mean the thing you was wearing yesterday it was half Burberry with a dash of Primark ribboning, and pearls! It looks like she even had some glitter in there, not a good look, too fussy. But now she’s in Europe, she’s in the right place to get tips. Remember Princess Di’ Well they got similar kinds of figures and the same kind of gawky walk. It’s a hip ting, more hip than waist, …until Di’ went bulimic on us that is… but I’m not talking about then, I’m talking bout after she left Charles and she was looking even more elegant, like a lot of birds that age. Well Michelle can do the same. Get some proper designers in that aren’t kow-towing to her or taking the piss or what ever it is they're doing. Maybe its because she keeps on describing herself as a African American Woman, when you would never see Laura Bush describing herself as a European American Woman, putting herself in a box only makes others put her in a box too.…
But oh yes where was I? Michelle's dress sense and Di’s.
Princess Di used to wear baby blue sailor suits with puffed sleeves and a big bows. Awful clothes! Man she used to wear some rubbish tweedy stuff, and as for the hats! But then some good designers got a hold of her and made her look long and sleek, flowing and graceful like a gazelle with a big head, but it worked! That’s what they got to do with Michelle. She’s got to take off all those maternity style dresses that she loves to wear, even if she’s pregnant, cos I’ve seen the photos. She's always worn maternity style dresses that makes it look like her waist is directly under her breasts. Man I hate those dresses! They should ban anyone who isn’t less than 6 months pregnant from wearing them!
She’s tall, so get her out of the smocks and into the gowns or even better get her to dress simply! When she was standing on the steps of 10 Downing st showing off her toned arms in just a vest. She looked nice.
G 20 talks tomorrow! 31st March 2009.
Yep the G’ meetings have come round again and every time they meet the numbers go up. So now they're up to 20, I miss the good old days when it was just the G5. the G8 was good too, good protests as well. But it didn’t help did it? Cos now they're up to 20! 20 G’s, whats this G’ thing about? Is it like G Unit? Does G’ stand for Gangster?
What I really want to talk about though is the protesters, who are these geezers and birds who’s going out there? Fing is, I know a load of them who’s going, they're all a bit posh, doesn’t matter what they look like, the moment they open their mouths. Posh! Some of em look a bit like tramps. …One of em I know has got so much bits of wood and metal hanging off him, that when he walks he sounds like a wind chime! Not one working class bone between them, …probably because what those 20 gangsters are gonna do doesn’t really impact on the working classes in the same way as it does the middle classes, ..us peasants are fucked anyway, whichever way it goes, so its no change there. But I reckon all this low interest rates and everything is affecting the hippies trust funds. That’s what they're out there fighting for, that’s what gets hippies mad! Someone fucking with their trust funds!
But we'll see, it'll probably turn out to be a massive April fools joke! they'll look at the terrifying protesters, with their terrifying smell of patchouli oil and the subtle clanking of body jewellery, and they'll say "lets stop the wars and stop using oil". And all the hippies will be happy, and they'll end up drinking coffee in their hippy cafes talking about 'how food should be taxed according to the distance it travels as 'Air miles' and the need to stop importing everything completely' They'll agree smugly as they sip their imported Tea and Coffee.
WHERES MY BARBECUE? 30 march 2009.
